Been a while. I guess like in everything, there are seasons. Seasons where I am itching to write and seasons where I struggle to. I hope you have been keeping well.
This morning Sonny proudly brings to my attention that he has broken wind. He even gave me his score, “Mommy, I just made three farts.” I say I know. How? He asks. It’s in the air, I tell him. I further say to him that this is not information we share publicly, that you should not even do this in the midst of people. The things I have to teach him; do not fart in class, excuse yourself, chew with your mouth closed, wipe your bum properly… I digress.
He looks at me puzzled. “But mommy, I do not like to keep secrets” he says. I am struck by this simple uncomplicated thinking. In that instance, I want to be a child. That my biggest worry would be that I have broken wind and I need to own up. So innocent. So curious too. Take for instance some questions he asks:
Him: Have you ever finished 500 kilograms of doughnuts?
Me: First of all how do you come up with this? But no, I have never finished 500 kgs of doughnuts. I cannot even figure out how we would carry them from the bakery and where we would keep them in the house.
Him:When we all go to heaven, who will remain here on earth?
Me: I honestly don’t know papa. My understanding is there will be no earth left.
Him: In church they said we came from soil. But I was in your stomach?
Me: Thinking to myself, how do I start, from Adam, Eve to him?… I do not know how to simplify.
Him: That is a half moon mommy. Where is the other half?
Me: I have a headache
I think we need to learn how to simplify, we make things hard for ourselves plenty if not all the time. Probably till when we get old, that age where we simply do not give a hoot about peoples thoughts or views of us. Let us remember, man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play. Heraclitus. Now trust me, I am completey aware that as adults we have to make desicions, tough choices. But even as we are making these, let us not overthink. It is from mistakes that we learn.
Speaking of play, Djasiri like any other child, loves to play. He plays with kids from the various regions of this country and outside of it, at home, in school, in church, kids he meets in the mall, in a hotel, by the road. He does not stop to ask them, where do you come from? He does know there are different tribes. He however does not know anything about hating because of differences in tribe. They are just his friends. The only difference he is aware of is gender. And this is limited to the fact that there are girls and boys. Because they are taught to use different bathrooms. He is not even aware of the different anatomy. He thinks I stand while peeing. You should see him urging me to stand next to him and pee, that he does not mind sharing.
What is this nonsense adults have, that this one is from this part of Kenya and I am from this other one and therefore, solely by this fact, I hate them? I tell someone my name and they say no, I am asking for your second name. I am floored. I am disgusted. I am angered, especially by those parents who are teaching their children this hate.
Some of us have heard of weddings being cancelled because one party cannot see how their son/ daughter would skip all these tribes and land at the only one that they cannot agree to marry him/ her off to. Parents, whose happiness are you focusing on here? You do not understand, you might be saying to me. You are right. I do not understand. I am convinced there are bigger things you should worry about; a persons values, character, for instance. They could be from your tribe of choice but they are mean, disrespectful, violent. You would rather this?
The amout of hate going around is beyond me. I read comments in social media and cannot comprehend if some of us are thinking at all when responding. That we can manage to miss the point of the post, a blood appeal for instance, and focus on this persons tribe instead.
Is there hope? Can we learn something from our children? May God help us.