Last week Saturday found us at a talent show supporting my niece. All went well, Djasiri even met a girl. He hustled her the entire afternoon, this lovely three year old girl I think. When it was time to leave, he even wanted to bring her with us.
The girl is a darling, i like her, her mum too. I wonder whether the mum and i can strike a deal and start grooming them for each other. It is not such an awful idea i think?
I noticed something curious at the show, the dads present watching their daughters closely, not wishing them to play, run around or speak to especially the boys. I have also noticed this when we have fun days at school, in malls, playgrounds, church. So I ask myself, I ask you, what is it with fathers and their daughters?
There are plenty of memes and quotes that make light of this phenomenon; Obama sitting with this kid taking his daughter for a date. He says to him, I can be telling you of how I killed bin Laden as we wait? Or, a dad saying “my girl can only have three male friends: the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit.” “Whatever you do to my daughter, I will do to you.” Funny, unless you have zero sense of humor. The whole overprotective business, not so funny, not very helpful, maybe even detrimental to the dating lives of our children.
Djasiri has a girlfriend. They met three years ago when he started school. Yes, their relationship has outlived thousands of marriages. I will call her Dora, not her real name. The dad just might be reading this blog, or his friend, or a distant relative, you cannot be too careful. Your security begins with you folks. After reading this piece,they will call him and say, “baba Dora, you need to read what one mama Djasiri has written about your daughter.”Things will go downhill from there.
When schools open next term, baba Dora will go to school,as my son is leaving for home, he will go to him, or maybe even follow him home. I know, crazy things fathers of daughters can do. Surf, I am thinking of you here. He will then ask my son, “is there life after death? Touch my daughter and you will find out.” Djasiri will be left wondering, what just happened? I just play with this girl, share my snacks and sit with her at lunch break! Is that so bad?
A fathers role to the daughter without a doubt is crucial. They are the first introduction to masculinity, a role model and the yard stick all men will be measured against. My two cents; instead of being overprotective, how about you instead encourage healthy relationships and not scare them? Encourage dialogue so that these young girls, when they grow up, they are able to share the challenges of dating, get advise from the dads. You want them to come to you when they have met a boy, not hide this fact from you for fear you will intimidate the boy.
What I also want these fathers to know is that there are also mothers who similarly worry about their sons. Both of us definitely want the best for our children. For now, let the kids be. Later, we can talk about overprotective mothers.